10 Things I Wish I Knew at 40

I turned 50 and looked back at the decade that preceded it with a mixture of gratitude and grief. Gratitude for what God brought me through. Grief for what I could have avoided if someone had told me the truth earlier.

So consider this me telling you the truth.

If you're in your 40s — or approaching them — here are 10 things I wish someone had said to me.

1. Your best years are not behind you.
The lie that whispers loudest in your 40s is that the window is closing. It isn't. Some of the most significant chapters of your life haven't been written yet. Don't let the enemy convince you that you've peaked.

2. Rest is not laziness.
I drove myself relentlessly in my 30s and paid for it in my 40s. Your body, your mind, and your spirit need recovery. Sabbath is not a suggestion. It's a command for a reason.

3. The people in the room matter more than the size of the room.
I chased platforms and opportunities for years before I understood that intimacy is more powerful than influence. The relationships you cultivate in your 40s will determine the legacy you leave in your 60s and 70s.

4. Unresolved wounds don't age well.
Whatever you're carrying from your childhood, your marriage, your ministry, your failures — it compounds over time if you don't deal with it. Get the counseling. Do the work. Your future self will thank you.

5. Money is a tool, not a destination.
I watched too many leaders sacrifice everything that mattered on the altar of financial success. Build wealth — but know why you're building it and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it.

6. Your children are watching more than they're listening.
They don't hear your sermons as clearly as they see your life. Who you are at home is your most important ministry.

7. Comparison is a thief with a very long arm.
In your 40s, you will watch peers get the promotions, the platforms, and the recognition you thought would be yours. Comparison will steal your joy and your focus simultaneously. Stay in your lane.

8. Discipline compounds just like debt.
Every consistent choice you make — in prayer, in exercise, in study, in generosity — accumulates over time into something extraordinary. The small habits you build in your 40s will define your 50s and 60s.

9. It's okay to change your mind.
Maturity looks like updated convictions, not stubborn ones. Be willing to learn, to grow, and to be wrong. Rigidity is not strength. It's fear wearing a mask.

10. God is not finished with you yet.
Whatever has happened — the failures, the detours, the disappointments — God has not written you off. The same God who called you is still calling you. Your next chapter is not a consolation prize. It is the one He has been preparing you for all along.

These lessons and more are at the heart of my book Note to Self — 10 Lessons I Learned in My First 50 Years That Will Fuel My Success in My Next 50. If you're ready to step into your next chapter with clarity and purpose, it's available now at the link below.